How in the world did this turn into a post about vaccinations?

I first learning about free writing in my sixth grade English class. At that time I was living in Houston, TX. I had moved from Alexandria, LA, where I was considered "gifted" to Houston, TX, where I was tested, and where I must have done well enough, and was put in G/T (Gifted and Talented) classes. However, I learned how UN-gifted I truly was when I started having to write papers in my English classes. There is a huge difference in expectations between Louisiana and Texas education and as well as elementary school and middle school.

Anyway, back to free writing. Remember those little marble notebooks that you had that was your "journal" in school? I had one. I hated it. She always gave us about ten minutes at the beginning of class to write on a certain topic, and knowing that I truly SUCKED at writing, it was torture for me. That is, until she explained about free writing. During free writing, we were just supposed to write and write and whatever came to mind was what we wrote about. We had to try not to stop. I loved being able to do this because it felt like what journaling really was.

For some reason I just feel like writing today. I don't know why, I just do. It seems as if I feel like writing during moments where I have no time or opportunity and usually what I want to write is what I think are really awesome topics. And then, when I have a chance to sit and write, I forget what it was I wanted to write about. Major bummer. So today I've pulled out my egg timer and set it for 20 minutes. Anything goes. Which means this will probably be boring. Or maybe, very interesting if I start to talk about things deemed too much information. That usually gets kind of interesting.

Yesterday we went to church. It seems as if there must have been something in the air because all the little kids were being a little more rambunctious than usual. Including Lily. I had to take her out. Now, when she goes "out" I don't want it to be more fun that being "in." We usually find the closest empty room, but that happened to be the mother's lounge yesterday. I made her sit still in the chair in there. She hated it. She didn't cry, but she pouted. She was obviously bored. I was happy that she was bored. We stayed in there awhile and I finally explained to her that she had a choice. She could either stay in there and sit still and be bored or she could go back into the chapel and color or play her game and have fun but stay quiet and sit still. I guess she understands more than I think she does because she was just fine after that.

I'm glad that she is old enough to go to nursery now. She really enjoys it, and I am proud of her for how well she does in there. She's so cute and sociable. I was never like that. Always so shy. I suppose she gets that from Robbie.

I am getting to a point where I feel like pausing. Can't do that! Must keep typing.

This girl just texted me about a pediatrician in our area that doesn't care whether or not parents vaccinate. Now, after a lengthy discussion about vaccinations she said to us, "Now, you're the parents. It's up to YOU to make the best decisions for your child. I just want you to know that I respect what you decide." Now, I'm not sure how true it really is, because we decided to vaccinate. I wonder what she would have said had we not. But during our later visits, with the questions I ask her, it seems like she has plenty of clients who decide not to vaccinate. And she didn't say anything sarcastic about it. She said they were in the minority, but that was it. I usually decide to vaccinate, but it was always later than the normal schedule. She never said anything about our timing. When they ask us if we want the flu shot, and I say no, the only response I get is, "Okay." No pressure or anything. So from just the things she's told me and my husband, I don't get the impression that she would have a problem with us deciding that we don't want to vaccinate.

Now I know that vaccination is a controversial subject, but we have researched and given lots of thoughts and prayers about this. Honestly, if we lived elsewhere, I think I would probably not feel like I'd want to vaccinate, but I do believe in the efficacy of the vaccines. I also know myself and if my child contracted something that could have been prevented, I wouldn't be very happy with my decision not to vaccinate. I wouldn't have done everything I could to keep my baby safe. Of course, if my child gets sick from a vaccine, my story would probably be different. The vaccination decision truly is one of those damned if you do damned if you don't sort of decisions. I don't think I could be truly comfortable either way. I just feel less uncomfortable choosing to do it.

I am a nervous wreck after every trip to the doctor where she receives vaccinations. I hate it. So far she's been okay.

Isn't that crazy? I'm all about the whole natural childbirth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering thing, but I also believe that vaccines work. Silly me.

I was about to say something, but I forgot. Oh yeah. Those that don't vaccinate say that those parents that do vaccinate don't want their kids to play around unvaxed kids because they are afraid their kids will catch whatever it is that unvaxed kids are supposedly full of. I guess those perfectly healthy looking unvaxed kids are full of all kinds of icky germs that my vaxed kid can get. It doesn't make sense to me because that is why people get vaccinated. To protect them from any of those icky germs. So the vaxed kids are supposed to be the safe ones, right? I'd be more worried about my unvaxed kid playing around, well, anybody.

Anyway, my time is up. So basically, I guess the point of the above paragraph is this. If your kid is vaxed or unvaxed, I don't care. We'll still play with you. Not that I don't care, but it's truly a non-issue with me whether or not you choose to vax or not. And if anyone gives you any grief about whether or not you vax, I'll be the first to tell them where they can go.