Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Update on Running

So I finished the Couch to 5K Running Plan about 3 weeks ago. I decided I wasn't going to weigh myself until I completed it. That was my prize for finishing- weighing myself. I was nervous about it and pretty sure I hadn't lost any weight.

Boy was I wrong!

I lost 14 pounds! I am so happy. It feels good to be only 6 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Well, at least I was 6 pounds away 3 weeks ago.

I'm still Coke free. I haven't had any since January 2nd. It is easy now.

I haven't had a sandwich in about two months. In fact, I haven't even had a loaf of bread in the house for that long. I barely notice.

No sweets. I haven't had a frostie, or cookies, or brownies in months. It's ok. I've been thinking about making some healthy brownies or something after I am back at my pre-pregnancy weight, but every time I think about it, I think, "Nah." I just don't feel like it.

I saw some imitation Girl Scout Caramel Delights cookies in the grocery store the other day. While I got pretty excited that those exist, we didn't buy any. The thought to take them home didn't even cross my mind. Yes, I thought it was cool. No, I wasn't tempted. Yes, I thought it was kind of neat and weird that I wasn't even tempted. What's happened to me?

I wasn't perfect by any means. We celebrated at Gringo's for my birthday. We've had pizza quite a bit. We've eaten out at restaurants a few times. Mostly we eat at home. Mostly I cook something. And mostly I try to make sure I am making wise choices.

That's it. I mean, I say "it" but I've been working hard. And I am proud of myself. So.... I just wanted to share that. And later, I am going to go run 3 miles with my first ever running group. Go me!

Oh, and I am preparing for a 10K now. That will be in late October. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Couch to 5K Running Plan, Take II

Three years ago, while worrying about the impending 3-0, I began the Couch to 5K Running Plan for the first time. I've been 30 for almost a year now, and it's not so bad. As long as I don't think about it too much, I barely notice it. My husband doesn't seem to mind. He seems to think I am still hot, which is always a good thing.

For the past two months, I have been doing Pilates and Fitness Blender workouts. They've been a nice and "gentle" entrance into exercising again. I say "gentle" because they've allowed me to exercise in the comfort of my living room, although the workouts have kicked my butt quite a bit.

My future doula and me after my first 5K
A few weeks ago, one of my doula clients told me that she used to do the Couch to 5K Running Plan as her form of exercise before she got pregnant. It sparked my interest again because I've done that before. I decided I should try it again. Pilates is not helping me lose weight, not that I thought it would. I knew I would eventually have to add some sort of unpleasant cardio to have any chance of getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight. For the past week or so, I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for restarting the Couch to 5K Running Plan. It's the only time I have ever been able to stick with a running program for any length of time. It's the only time I have ever felt any kind of confidence in my ability to run. It helped me to feel accomplished. I want to try it again. I never in my life thought I would be able to run a 5K, but I did it using the Couch to 5K Running Plan.

Two more reasons I want to start running again:


Teaching a comfort measures class
to expecing mamas and their doulas

And this:

Evidence that I do indeed play with my children
Lily is on my left and Kimberly to the right

Which is a far cry from this:

Newlyweds and pre-children

Or even this:
Postpartum after Lily
All the pregnancy weight is gone.

I'm not happy looking the way I do. When I first weighed myself several months after Kimberly was born, I burst into tears. I told my husband, "I've never been here before." 

Here = this weight 

After Lily was born, I dropped all the weight relatively quickly with no effort. Breastfeeding was all I needed. My midwife at the time cautioned me to be very careful not to eat everything in sight, because as a breastfeeding mother, I would want to. Because I was always worried about Lily's slow weight gain and with her always being on the petite side, I, naturally blaming the quality and quantity of my breastmilk, wanted to do it differently with Kimberly. I decided not to worry so much about the scale, and I gave in to all of my hunger pangs and cravings. What did I crave after Kimberly was born? Cake and Cocoa Pebbles! All the things I couldn't have while pregnant. I feel like I worked hard trying not to grow a big baby by eating way healthier than I did during my first pregnancy. I only gained 25 pounds this time, as opposed to the 35 pounds I gained the first time. My baby ended up weighing a pound more despite my efforts!

If I make an honest assessment of my eating habits after this birth, they have been awful. I've had Cokes. I've had cookies and brownies and cake. I've eaten carbs and way too many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because I love them. I've eaten fast food. In short, I've pretty much eaten like I did when I was in college and could eat as much as I wanted, whatever I wanted, without gaining a single pound. With a few salads thrown in there. And quinoa. I love quinoa. It speaks to my soul. 

This has to stop. I have to change my life. I'm taking baby steps. I've cut out the Cokes since January 2nd. It's been nearly 5 months. I need to stop eating the cookies. And brownies. And all the yummy things. I'm trying to be more mindful about what I eat and ask myself if I can make a better choice when I am about to eat something. 

I'm a little worried that I am too late. I am worried that I will be stuck here forever. I've never actually lost weight before. I've never stuck with anything more than about 2 months at a time though. I've never done anything more strenuous than the Couch to 5K. After that first 5K, I burned out. I'm worried that one day, I'll look back on pictures of myself NOW and wish to be back here again. That thought really scares me. I can't be here anymore. 

I've read all the Facebook posts about embracing your curves and loving your body. I do appreciate the wonderful work that my body has done with growing, birthing, and nourishing my two beautiful girls. I really do. I'm deeply impressed with and thankful for my body being able to birth and breastfeed my babies. Truly. I feel like I owe it to myself to drop the weight. No matter what people say or how many motivational memes show up on my Facebook News Feed, the numbers on the scale matter to me. They just do. My pants and dress sizes matter to me. 

I really want to lose 20 pounds before I even think of having another baby. That will put me back to my pre-pregnancy weight (which was half a pound shy of being in the overweight category anyway). I've put my scale back up in my closet, and I am determined to not weigh myself again until I finish the program. That's my reward for finishing. 

I've also signed up for the Freedom 5K-First Colony. I would love some local friends to sign up with me. I won't be finished with the program by then, but I figure it would be a good start. 

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Springtime Catch-up

It's been awhile since I've blogged, so I need to catch-up! I haven't taken nearly as many pictures of Kimberly as I did of Lily. One of the problems is that someone took pictures of our children from our Facebook pages without our permission, so I don't feel safe sharing pictures on Facebook anymore. I forget about taking them since I've gotten out of the habit of sharing them. I've done a lot better about being hands-free these days as well. I had so many books to read and a huge study guide to complete for Birth Boot Camp that I just didn't really have time to do much else. 

Here is a cute picture of Lily modeling one of her dresses that she got for Christmas. This picture just captures the essence of Lily. She always has this look of absolute sweetness and wonder on her face. I love this kid!

Kimberly in her Christmas jammies with her daddy. They are so cute together. I love them. 

On Kimberly's birthday, I decided I should treat Lily to some pampering so she wouldn't feel left out. Her hair was finally starting to look pretty scraggly, so here she is getting her first hair cut. Nope. I didn't cry. 

Kimberly had her first taste of a chocolate cupcake on her birthday. She got nice and messy. Her birthday was super simple. No decorations. No themes. Just good friends and some simple snacks. MeMe and Pyran were able to make the trip out, which was extra super special. 

A few months ago area midwives and doulas met together for a doula/midwife networking gathering at The Birthing Place in Houston. They have a sort of famous mural in there, and I took a picture with it.

Cute Kimberly sitting at a McDonald's on one of our trips to visit MeMe and Pyran. She's so beautiful. I love this little girl and feel so blessed to know her and have her in my life.

After a long wait, I finally attended my Birth Boot Camp training. Here I am with the lovely Sarah who writes Mama Birth and Donna Ryan who writes Banned From Baby Showers and founded Birth Boot Camp.

Kimberly is so cute. I love her little face. I'm so glad to have her as my little girl. I was so worried about how I would love another baby, but I hadn't met Kimberly yet! She has my heart and so does Lily. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Park Day

Yesterday morning I woke up, exercised, took a shower, fed the kids breakfast, and realized that my house was clean. It wasn't even 9am yet, and I was free for the day. That doesn't usually happen. The girls were getting moody already, so I decided we should get out of the house and do something. We got in the car and just started driving. We ended up at a park that I like.

Kimberly found an icky yellow slinky that became her treasure for most of the trip. She was delighted that she was able to find something so fun.

Lily always has a great time sliding down slides. It took her a very long time to work up the courage to start sliding down slides, but now she is a pro.

I kept trying to get Lily to take a regular smiley picture. I noticed Kimberly climbing the steps to the playground equipment in the background, and I ran to make sure she didn't fall. There are so many opportunities to fall off the sides.

Kimberly says, "I've got this, Mom." I let her do it, but I stayed close in case I needed to catch her.

I love these two little girls. Kimberly has been cutting her molars the past several days, and it hasn't been the most pleasant experience of her life so far. We haven't been able to get very much sleep around here lately. I think she would be happy if I never put her down ever again. She'd stay snuggled up next to her mama for the rest of forever if she could.