I am discouraged. I have not been able to run for 30 whole minutes since my 5K. My plan was to do some speed work for a couple of weeks, which I did. This week I wanted to return to normal and run for 30 minutes each day I went to run. So far I have not been successful. Tuesday I ran for about 15 minutes and today I only made it to 8 minutes. What is my problem? I don't understand why I am so wiped out.
Mr. Negative Poopy Pants is in full force today. He is telling me I will be fat forever. When I started the Couch to 5K Running Plan, I was 155 pounds. That is five pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. My weight fluctuates, but the lowest I have been was 147 pounds. So at most, I have lost 8 pounds. I really wanted to be at 140 pounds by the time I finished the Couch to 5K program. That was three weeks ago. I am still at 147-148 pounds. I really need to kick it in gear if I am going to get to 140, and really I'd like to get it down to 130-135. But anywhere in the 130s would be nice. I guess I could say 120s and 110s too. It keeps getting lower and lower, doesn't it?
I suppose at some point I need to be happy with my body. Sometimes I think, "Kristi, you are going to look back and wish you had this body back." And then I think, "I hope not! I hope I am never this fat again!" I will miss the fact that I am young and healthy one day, I am sure, but I hope that I never am this heavy again. It's pretty hard being here when I used to be the skinny one all the time. I was always the skinny girl. I'm not that anymore!