Day 1 and Day 2:
I completely forgot to blog those two days. Long story short, I did it! I successfully ran for 25 minutes straight both days, and I did it on the treadmill.
It wasn't very fun to run so long on the treadmill, and there is not much I can do to make it more interesting. I do not like to listen to music or watch TV while I exercise. It's really distracting. I suppose those are my only two options, but I prefer the solitude in the morning.
I would like to brag on myself. I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 147. I started this adventure at 155. Now, before I get too excited, I started this week at 153. My weight fluctuates by 5 pounds during the day a lot of the time, but this morning I weighed myself without clothes and first thing in the morning unlike on Monday. I know, tmi, but still. I'll take it! This is 3 pounds below my prepregnancy weight and I have not been in the 140s in years. Still, my goal is to get down to 140 before I get pregnant again.
I am looking forward to my outside run on Saturday! I have one more run to do on the treadmill tomorrow and then I will add a for fun run on Saturday. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would ever look forward to running trails on a Saturday morning for fun!
Yesterday was Day 3. I did it! However, it was very hard for me to get out of bed to go run. I am so tired. Robbie had to pretty much kick me out of bed. The hardest part is always just getting up and walking to the gym. Once I am there, I am usually fine.
I didn't bother trying not to watch the clock. I find that it helps me to just count with the clock. 1..2..3..4....59..60....1...2..3.. I like to break my jogs into five minute chunks now. I'll think, "One, down, four to go!" Then "Two down, three to go!" When I am at my last five minute chunk, I count down each minute the same way. I know most people probably hate watching the clock, but it keeps my mind busy to count while I run. There is definitely no room for Mr. Negative Poopy Pants when I am counting.
Today I do not really count my run as part of the C25K Week 7. However, I still ran 25 minutes but I ran outside. It was SO HOT! I did it though. Robbie and Lily went with me and as we were walking back to the apartment I said, "I am proud of me." I do not do that enough. I do not acknowledge my accomplishments because I am afraid of coming across as arrogant. However, I need validation and encouragement. I have been searching for approval and for people to be proud of me from the outside. I need to work on it from the inside. I think there is a lot of healing that needs to happen on the inside. The other day I was thinking, "People! Celebrate your kids! Really celebrate them. Celebrate their accomplishments and hard work. Pay attention to them." I hate to sound like a whiney adult, but I really did not get much of that as a kid. Words aren't enough. You have to mean it. I never really felt like anyone celebrated me, and I definitely don't celebrate myself. I need to because no one else will. Well, other than my sweet husband. He is such a doll. However, it's hard for me to truly believe him when I do not believe it myself. So, I decided to celebrate myself today. It felt weird, but perhaps it's a start. And all I did to celebrate myself was admit, "Hey! I'm doing a really good job! I'm proud of me." :o)
And that's okay.