Thursday, June 30, 2011

Spiritual Overhaul

I have a confession to make. Since Lily was born Since I got married nearly three years ago, I feel as if I've dropped the ball when it comes to having daily personal scripture study. I can definitely feel the difference in my life. Sure I have gone through spurts of doing well, followed by spurts of not doing well. Perhaps this is just a spurt of doing well, but I hope that I can re-establish a habit of studying my scriptures every day.

I really need to make a spiritual overhaul. I've started making a physical overhaul. Now I need to work on my spiritual self. I had been trying to get through the Old Testament, but I feel like I need to read the Book of Mormon in order to get a jump start on my faith building again. There is something very special about that book, and I can't capture that feeling while reading any other book. I've studied the Book of Mormon several times in my life, but I need to do it again. I love it.

Usually when I read it, I start from the beginning and go to the end. Duh, right? I've never gotten to a place where I can just skip around. My brain doesn't work that way. This time, I am starting with the last book and working my way to the first. Today is the fourth day in a row that I've read from Moroni, and I want to share a few things that I learned a few days ago. Before I share my thoughts about Moroni, I need to share a scripture that describes how I'd like to read my scriptures.

"And I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their Redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet Isaiah; for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning." 1 Nephi 19:23 (emphasis mine)

I'd be lying if I said that I always likened all scripture unto myself. I'd be lying if I said that I even did it all that much. A lot of the time, I just try to read through it because that is the best I can do. The fact that I am even sitting with my scriptures open and am reading one verse is the best I can do many days. And I have to say to myself that's okay! However, I want to do better now. I really want to give this whole likening the scriptures unto myself thing a try, even if the quantity of reading isn't very much. I need more quality to my scripture study than quantity. After all, I've already read the Book of Mormon several times. I need to really dig deep to overhaul my faith like I need to.

"And none were received unto baptism save they took upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end." Moroni 6:3 (emphasis mine)

This verse made me think about all the things that I set my mind to that I was able to successfully accomplish. I was determined to breastfeed and have a natural birth. I was determined to marry in the temple. I was determined to get a Master's Degree. I was not only determined to accomplish these goals, I was hard-headed about it. Then I had to think. Am I determined to serve the Lord to the end? Am I determined so much that I am hard-headed, even stubborn about it? Sadly, the answer was no. I don't feel that same hard-headed determination to read my scriptures every day. Or pray. Or show up to church on time. Why? I need to! Out of everything in my life, this should be my biggest goal.

"And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.Moroni 6:5 (emphasis mine)

As I pondered this scripture, I thought about a few very special people in my life who I am seriously attached to now. There is so much love in their home and I feel so blessed to know them. I am so thankful for how much they have helped me through this first year of parenthood, not only temporally, but emotionally as well. They have truly taught me about the meaning of ward family. I never felt it before, even in my home ward. I love it here!

"But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven." Moroni 6:8 (emphasis mine)

I don't have much to say about this one, except I like it! I know it's true. Heavenly Father always forgives me, especially for those things I neglect to do. Like scripture study.

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