Yesterday I went to church by myself, and I almost don't want to admit this, but I really enjoyed being able to feel the spirit to the extent that I did yesterday. Because it was ward conference, we had the opportunity to sustain our church leaders. I particularly enjoyed being able to do this. It was very neat to be able to raise my right hand to sustain our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, after his name was read. I allowed my mind to wander and think about what it really means to sustain someone. What am I doing when I raise my hand in support of someone? I thought about the things I have learned as I have served in Primary. I thought about the people I have gotten to know better. I remembered that people are not perfect. I remembered, even though people are not perfect, the Lord chooses these people to serve in these callings. As I was raising my hand in support of my church leaders, I thought, "The Lord has chosen these people to fill these callings. I feel honored to be able to raise my hand in support of the Lord's decisions." I feel a special something in my heart when I am able to sustain our prophet. Every. Single. Time. I can't say the same for anyone else. I admit, I sort of go through the motions and sometimes I don't even know what they just said up there before my hand just goes up automatically. However, yesterday I really thought about what I was doing. When the man who was reading started to read out our bishop's name, it was confirmed to me that our bishop truly was called of the Lord. At the same time, it must have been confirmed to the person reading because he started to get a little choked up as he was reading our bishop's name. I thought that was really cool. I thought that was a really neat moment because I have honestly never felt anything like that before. I've heard people bear testimony of the bishoprics in various wards and I always knew those people were called of the Lord, but I just didn't think about it like I did yesterday. I never sought to know, and I didn't really seek to know yesterday. I suppose the Lord decided to bless me in that way yesterday.
As always, I can never remember what the talks were about. I wished I'd had a notebook with me to write things down because the talks were so good. Usually there is no point to taking notes in sacrament meeting as Lily would end up ripping my paper away. I have gotten out of the habit of bringing writing materials with me. I remember that the bishop gave a talk that was very similar to a conversation that Robbie and I had over the weekend. He told me of a quote he heard while he was on his mission from Elder Quentin L. Cook (I think that's who he said it was) before he became a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. It seems that Elder Cook was late to arrive to that meeting because he was given the wrong directions. When he stood to give his talk he said something like (and I am probably getting it all wrong), "It doesn't matter how well you follow the wrong directions, it will never get you where you want to go." I thought that was really cool and it really impressed Robbie at the time. The bishop's talk yesterday made me think of that. In his talk, he said it is not enough just to know how to do something, such as pay your tithing, it's in the doing. I can know that I am supposed to study my scriptures all I want, but until I actually do it, I really won't be able to gain anything from that knowledge. I can know that I am supposed to pay my tithing all I want, but I really won't be able to gain any blessings until I actually do it. I can know I am supposed to go to church all I want, but it doesn't really matter how much I know it until I go to church every Sunday.
I remember the stake president gave a good talk too, but I just can't remember anything about it. I just remember how I felt, and I loved it!
Because it was ward conference, we had guests from the stake primary presidency visit our primary. As I was passing out rolls in the hallway, I saw a woman walk in and thought, "She belongs in primary." She looked at me and said, "Do you know where the primary room is?" I said, "I do! I had a feeling that you would be looking for that room. You just exude primary!" We had a fun little conversation on the way to the room. I'm usually kind of shy when I meet new people, but not yesterday. I suppose it helps when you obviously have something in common.
I also realized yesterday that I finally feel like I belong in primary. It took me a long time to feel this way. I thought for sure I was in the wrong place when I was first called to be the primary secretary. I don't know anything about kids! I think it is a really good place for me because I only teach sharing time once a month, so it's just enough to get my feet wet a little. I am learning the songs and kids' names and that's great. I finally feel like I am getting used to being there. I no longer look into the Relief Society room with longing as I walk past there during my rounds of passing out rolls to the primary teachers. In fact, I felt like it would be weird to be in there.
Speaking of doing my rounds, as I was passing out folders, the former Relief Society president stopped me in the hall to tell me about one of the sisters in our ward who is getting ready to have a baby soon. I didn't put two and two together as to why she would stop me to tell me about a pregnant woman. It seems as if they were talking together and the mama asked her if she thought I would be willing to attend her during her birth, but she was too afraid to ask. I told her, "Of course! I would be willing to doula for any woman in this ward. I just never approach them about it. They have to approach me. All they have to do is ask and I'll say yes." I also told her that money isn't an issue. We could trade whatever and it would be fine. Doulas are cool like that. Lots of us are willing to barter. Hopefully she'll pass the word along to that sweet mama.
Just a note to my local friends: if there are any of you, my local friends out there, that feel like you want to have me be your doula, don't be afraid to ask. I'll say yes. We'll work it out. I'm just not going to approach you about it. Boundaries, ya know?
After I came home, Lily was taking a nap. I started making some chili for us and used fresh garlic for the first time. I was afraid that I had used too much by the way it smelled, but I used as much as the recipe called for. Usually I use one of those little jars for my minced garlic, but Robbie bought me some fresh garlic cloves when he stopped by the store last weekend. I spent the rest of the evening smelling the chili cooking in the slow cooker and worrying that I used too much garlic. I really can't stand a lot of garlic.
After Lily woke from her nap, we just spent a quiet Sunday together. I enjoyed giggling and cuddling with my little girl. She's such a cutie!
After we put Lily to bed, the chili was ready. And it was WAY TOO GARLICKY. Yuck! Robbie liked it though. I ended up doing a Cincinnati special and boiling some noodles and grating some cheese and we had some of what we call chili spaghetti. That made it tolerable. I was disappointed because the last time I made chili it was amazing. I had my palette all set to have chili and what I had was garlic with a little bit of chili.
So all in all, we had one of the best weekends we have had in a long time. We really needed it!